How to Comfort Someone with Cancer

By Caryn Gehlmann

Unfortunately, many of us seem to be personally be affected by the word cancer. I’ve been on both sides of the cancer relationship. I’m a cancer survivor, I was diagnosed with uterine cancer in 2006 that had spread to my lymph nodes. I’m ever so grateful to the people who supported me. But I’ve also been on the other side, being there to support and comfort family members and friends who’ve been on their own journey with cancer. Therefore, I know and understand that it’s hard to know how to comfort someone with cancer. Especially because everyone’s definition of comfort can be so varied.

As a clinical aromatherapist, I’ve also seen how essential oils can provide a measure of comfort for people working through cancer diagnosis, treatment, and recovery. Here are some of the things I’ve experienced, learned, observed and read along the way that may help you offer comfort to someone with cancer.

Trust your gut. You know your loved one, so you already have a pretty good sense of what they need. Don’t let the cancer diagnosis get in the way of your intuition. But first, know that this is their journey, so let them know you take direction from them on what they need most from you.

Give yourself time and space to come to terms with the diagnosis. You have your own feelings and worries to process before you can offer comfort. It’s a good idea to research the diagnosis, so you have more insight into your friend’s particular illness. But, DON’T hangout too long on the internet because it can be confusing and depressing, as well as informative. And most of all remember that each of us is a unique individual, so what may have been helpful to someone else is not necessarily what is needed in this instance.

Be a good listener. Sometimes we’re overly worried about what to say when what our friend really needs is someone to listen. Let them talk openly and freely without censure or judgment. Just love them!

Give practical help. Fatigue is often a big problem for people fighting cancer. So helping them out by bringing over a meal, or vacuuming the house can make a huge difference. I had a group of friends who gifted me with a cleaning service for my bathrooms and my kitchen once a month during my chemo months. Oh my goodness, it was such a treat!

Make a cancer comfort kit. You know what you’re friend loves, maybe it’s something as simple as a card and a hug! Many e3 customers have said they like to give our Comfort Bowl as a gift to friends dealing with cancer. And please don’t forget about your own personal comfort.

What’s a Comfort Bowl?

When chemotherapy made me too fatigued to take a calming shower or bath, I would fill a beautiful bowl with warm water, add a few drops of essential oil, dip in the cloth, wring it slightly, take a deep breath and apply as a compress to my skin. It helped me experience feelings of calm and comfort. So many things felt like it was out of my control, and this was something I could choose to use anytime and it always felt wonderful.

So often, people wonder what gifts they should get for someone with cancer. Since this bathing practice was so helpful to me, I wanted to create this cancer comfort kit, combining a beautiful bowl with essential oils. I found beautiful glass bowls in an assortment of colors and you get to choose from a selection of three essential oils or blends that you think will give your loved one a sense of comfort.

It’s really important to me that we honor cancer thrivers, warriors, survivors, so we gift a complimentary Comfort Bowl once a season to someone with cancer who can really benefit from its comfort. If you have a friend or family member with cancer that you would like to receive this free gift, please contact us to see if it’s available.

We really value your feedback! Please contact us or join us on our Facebook page with your insights or questions on how to support and comfort someone with cancer. Often the biggest comfort is knowing we are not alone!